Timeline Proposition

Our method of measuring time is a relatively sound one: pick a point in time and measure backwards and forwards from it. We don’t really have much choice, seeing as we don’t know when time first started (not that I think it ever ‘just started’. I just said that to illustrate the point. Leave me alone).

Anyway, this brings us to the point in question. We measure from events relating to Jesus. BC, or Before Christ, is naturally time prior to Christ. AD, or Anno Domini/After Death, is time after Christ.

BUT I DISLIKE THIS.

Hear that, dislike. Strong dislike. Grrr. There are a number of reasons for this.

Firstly there’s the religious side of things. We don’t actually know if any of that stuff in the big book of Chinese whispers Bible really happened and so on, so it’s ridiculous to record history with the event at the core of our time system.

Secondly, logic dictates that if this Christ dude did exist, he didn’t exist for a single point in time. That is, there should be a period of time in between BC and AD in which the Christ dude lived. However, this blog isn’t exactly rational so maybe using logic here is not going to work.

Thirdly, and lastly (though I’m sure there’s probably some other good reasons), it isn’t a definitive point in human history. Well arguably anyhow. Sure, it’s massively important today because of the prominence of religion and such, but the history is more than folklore and is at it’s core an account of human progress.

This brings me to my proposition for a new time system using a different point as our reference for other time periods.

The point in time I have realized deserves such an honour is the invention of a pivotal aspect of human life. That is, time will be measured before the invention and after it was finished, meaning there is no point in between the two to cause confusion.

The name of the two time periods should be BSB and ASB, before and after the invention respectively. So, you ask, what is the invention?

It’s fucking sliced bread bitches.

Motherfucking sliced bread.

-Vyperchild

** It would certainly make the phrase ‘the best thing since sliced bread’ easier to validate or refute **

Happy Chocolate Holiday!

Easter’s come and gone and I couldn’t help but notice that, unlike Christmas, no one even bothers to pretend Easter is about religion anymore.

The closest I got to religion was switching channels the other night and catching a few seconds of The Passion of the Christ.

As someone who is fairly opposed to religion as a whole, I’m quite happy to have a week-long holiday for the sake of chocolate.

Happy Chocolate Holiday!

-Vyperchild