Archive for the ‘Warhammer’ Category


Chaos Gods

August 26, 2009

It’s been a while since I did any Warhammer related posts (btw, the only progress on my Daemons is that the box is assembled), so now I’m giving a brief, introductory look at the Chaos Gods, although I will go through some of the subtleties of each God also.

Firstly, the Chaos Gods are present in both Warhammer systems. Even though Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 have been separated from one another in canon, the Warp and daemonic beasties are shared between the games.

Secondly, the Chaos Gods are essentially certain basic emotions given a malevolent incorporeal form. For example, Slaanesh is the embodiment of desire and pleasure. Some of the Gods don’t fit this mould quite as easily, such as Tzeentch or the minor Gods. Anyway, on to the analysis.

Khorne, the Blood God, is the God of war and anger and murder and cutting things till there is no longer room to make an incision. Khorne thrives on wanton slaughter and, with the scale of wars in the Warhammer universes, he is most often the strongest of the 4 Major Chaos Gods. One thing many people don’t realise however is that Khorne isn’t just about slaughter. Although Games Workshop have exaggerated the KILL MAIM BURN side of Khorne in recent years, there are still some examples of the old Khorne and his subtle aspects. These include honour (which is the reason Khorne disdains sorcery), skill and the wish to be challenged. That is to say, while most people expect all Khorne worshippers to be raging maniacs with chainaxes running frenziedly into the enemy battle line, there is a precedent for Khorne followers who use ranged weaponry. It’s a rather fun thing to point out to all the people who complain about Khorne’s apparent two-dimensional personality.

Tzeentch, the God of Change, is the God of magic and manipulation and is sometimes related to hope. Tzeentch is a master manipulator who often creates unnecessarily complicated plots for his own amusement. In fact, it is suggested that Tzeentch is prolonging the victory of Chaos indefinitely so that he can keep playing. As the God of magic, Tzeentch is Khorne’s opposite, and also often the most powerful of the four Gods. He’s also the most complicated of the Ruinous Powers, as he isn’t tied directly to an emotion, except possibly hope, which brings up more complications anyway.

Nurgle, the God of Decay, is the God of diseases, despair and potentially also love in a really creepy way. Grandfather Nurgle, as he is known to his followers, is a nurturing God who rewards worshippers with his latest concoction, which will more than likely kill them. Nurgle also thrives on war like Khorne, in that he draws from despair (which battles of attrition in particular have plenty of), and also the environment in some wars is a perfect breeding ground for new poxes.

Slaanesh, the Prince of Pleasure, is the last and youngest of the Major Gods and is the God of pleasure and lust and decadence. Slaanesh came into existence when the Eldar (ninja space elves) empire collapsed due to orgies and art. Well, pretty much. Slaaneshi cultists are over-indulgent and find a myriad of ways to enhance their experiences. One example of this is Sonic Blasters, which allow music to be harnessed as a weapon. Another example is the mutilations that many followers of Slaanesh inflict upon themselves, such as removing their eyelids.

There are other Gods, as I’ve implied with the term ‘Major’, but I won’t say much about them. Only Malal is really interesting, but Games Workshop haven’t owned the rights to him in over a decade. Although now they are trying to work Malice into their games, as a replacement. Malal is interesting in that he is the anti-Chaos Chaos God. Basically he’s the side of Chaos that fights against Chaos. Fun stuff.


** I’ve finished Twilight Watch now, so expect a review soon.”


Rock your fucking face off

August 9, 2009

The following picture is something from older incarnations of Warhammer 40,000. It is a Noise Marine.

Yes, the colours are awful and the leopard skin leg armour is hilarious, but aside from that, that is awesome. In fact, I’d even say they add to the awesome.

More recent Noise Marine models have Sonic Blasters that resemble guns. Why’d they have to change that?

“I was killed by a Vanquisher cannon”

“I was killed by a chainsword”

“I was killed by a FUCKING ROCK BAND”

A guitar as a weapon is awesome. They should appear in things more often.



First Incursion in the Old World and Lustria

July 12, 2009

Earlier today I had my first battles with my Khorne daemons in Warhammer Fantasy.

Gotta say, I’m impressed with them.

In the past, I have played a few games as Tomb Kings, one or two as (old) Vampire Counts, and more recently a Tzeentch Beastmen list. Out of all of them, the daemons were probably the army I felt the most comfortable with.

I played two games. One against Skaven and one against Lizardmen.

The first game was against the Skaven and we played 2300 points. The list I played was this:

  • Prince with Armour of Khorne, Axe of Khorne and Flight. 395pts
  • Herald with Sundering Standard, Juggernaut, Armour of Khorne and Firestorm Blade. 265pts
  • 4 Bloodcrushers with full command. 330pts
  • 20 Bloodletters with full command and Icon of Endless War. 295pts
  • 16 Bloodletters with full command. 222pts
  • 16 Bloodletters with full command. 222pts
  • 8 Flesh Hounds. 280pts
  • 8 Flesh Hounds. 280pts

My opponent’s Skaven were heavy on the shooting, with Jezzails, Globadiers, guys with slings, a Warpfire Thrower and a Warp-Lightning Cannon. Also, being Skaven, his magic phase had a fair amount of action too.

Outcome: Daemons Victory

I was very pleased with this battle. While it wasn’t an overwhelming win, I still ended the game with a decent amount of models. It was a fun game because of how close it seemed up until the last turn.

There were a few reasons why I was able to win this one. Firstly, the Sundering banner combined with the general resistance towards magic that a Khorne army has meant I was able to shrug off Plague and Warp Lightning. Secondly, although the shooting phase was less easily weathered than the magic phase, the Ward saves meant I was more resilient than most armies would have been. And finally, I was dominant in combat especially due to the amazing charge range of the Hounds, Bloodcrushers and the Icon of Endless War gave me a 15” charge into some Rat Ogres.

A few things I got out of the battle were a greater appreciation for ward saves, hounds and manoeuvrability, as well as realizing that keeping units relatively close is a good idea (the units of flesh hounds and bloodletters on the left flank got isolated around the end of turn five as the rest of the army moved towards the right). I also think in future I’ll take another Herald, on foot, as Hatred was awesomely useful, and I probably need a bitch to carry some dispelliness. IT’S A REAL WORD, SHUT UP. And, maybe a Bloodthirster would be a good idea instead of the Prince.

Second game was 2000pts. My list was very similar to the other one, but with one less Bloodcrusher (and no musician) and 6 less hounds (3 from each unit).

Outcome: …yeah.

Basically, what happened in this one was an utter lack of understanding about the Lizardmen list, as well as an opponent who was ready for my list. That is, he switched out what little magic he’d usually take in favour of more hurty things.

In addition, I had very little which could deal with the Carnosaur rider with the Blade of Realities, especially after my Bloodcrushers were grinded down (although, not before they killed an Ancient Stegadon). Perhaps my Prince would have stood a chance if he’d gotten the charge on him, but the Carnosaur got to charge through some of the flesh hounds so that screwed me up.

On the other flank, I found out that razordon and skink shooting is heavy enough to make it a bad idea to allow flesh hounds to take it.

So, both units of flesh hounds were down, the Bloodcrushers got dead-like and the Daemon Prince got an unhealthy dose of reality (is there a healthy dose? I DUN THINK SO). This left me with a bunch of infantry against a sizeable Lizardmen force.

Thus, I lost.



** I had been planning to take a photo of my first assembled unit of Bloodletters to show for the plog, but I’m a lazy bastard. Just know that they look awesome, and the unit leader has an awkward pose because I couldn’t get the left hand to fit right. In other news, I’ve joined Warseer’s Tale of Fantasy/40K Painters with my daemons, so hopefully that will be motivation enough to push this army towards completion over the next twelve months. If you don’t know about Warseer, check it out in my Linkys section over there –> **


“Hello, sports fans. Welcome to tonight’s game.”

July 7, 2009

BB_logo_trans “Your match commentators for tonight are Jim Johnson and myself, Bob Bifford. So Jim, what are you thoughts about these two teams?”

”Well Bob, the human side will find that they have a tough night ahead of them, as those Orcs aren’t looking too friendly.”

”Right you are Jim, but the humans have a distinct advantage over their opposition. Namely, their speed. The Orcs just can’t keep up with the manoeuvrability of this team.”

”Very true, but as long as the Orcs remember to not let the opposition past them, their toughness should make up for their slowness. Of course, the Orcs will most likely just start bashing things and forget about the game, but that might work to their coach’s favour anyway.”


Last Sunday, I got to play my first game of Blood Bowl. If you don’t know about Blood Bowl, it’s that fantasy warhammer game I  blogged, but with more football.

It plays sort of like a board game. A very expensive board game, but also a very fun one. The teams are lined up on a 24*15 grid in a similar fashion to gridiron (on which the game is mostly based, but it strays far). Their are two halves (HOW SURPRISING! I WAS EXPECTING THREE!) each made up of eight turns per player. Turns last for four minutes (we didn’t use this rule, as we were still learning, but I doubt we went over four minutes very often, so its a very reasonable time limit) or until a turnover is caused through one of the moving team’s players falling over or dropping the ball etc.

800px-Blood_Bowl_gameThe action begins with kick-off, which aside from the obvious also involves a dice roll which could lead to a number of different effects including the defending team getting a free turn before the kick happens, weather effects, riots, coaching bonuses or a team beating the crap out of the ref.

Then the ball lands, bounces a bit and the receiving team gets to do stuff like pick up the ball, pass, kick a prone opponent, move players or block opponents. All of these can be done in conjunction with moving (particularly the ‘move’ one) however a block after moving can only be done by one player per turn, and fouling can only be done once per turn at all.

(By the way, blocking is basically a tackle that can result in five different things: Defender pushed one square back and knocked prone, the same as before unless the player has the Dodge skill (in which case it becomes the next option), push the opponent back one square, the attacker falls down and both players are knocked down on the spot. And being knocked down results in a dice roll against the player’s armour value, which if beaten can lead to injury or worse.)

What comes next is lots of the teams beating each other up and hopefully some touchdowns.


Because my first games were fun, I want to list some highlights:

m1251043_99060999097_BBGRiffOberwaldMain_445x3191ST GAME
I was humans, my opponent was orcs (these are the two teams that come with the starter box, but there are close to two dozen teams available in the game). During the first half my opponent managed to get two touchdowns, mostly due to breaking my centre with some Black Orcs. In the second half though I managed to score early, and then, on the last turn of the game, I passed two dodge rolls, moved, picked up the ball and dodged into the endzone to score the equalizer.

We switched teams, and I soon realised how much I love Orcs. In one drive, I allowed what was then my Black Orc run up the pitch with the ball in a penis formation. I hadn’t intended this, but couldn’t resist pointing it out when I noticed. AND I JUST REALISED THE BLACK ORCS IN THE FORMATION COULD HAVE LED TO SOME BLACK PENIS JOKES. MISSED OPPORUNITY THERE VYPER! Anyway, yeah, Black Orc had the ball and managed to get one square away from a touchdown. Then my opponent had his turn, blitzed (running block) the guy with the ball, and got the push back result, leading to a touchdown in my opponents’ turn. YAY!

I also got another touchdown in the first half but I can’t remember how. What I do remember was the awesome armour rolls I kept getting that half, due to lots of Orcs bashing dem ‘umies. Basically what happened was I somehow managed to reduce the human team’s number of players from 11 to 4 by the end of the half. I killed one human, knocked out five and one more was sent off for a foul. So I was winning not just on the scoreboard but in the fact that I nearly outnumbered by opponent 3:1.

But somehow he managed to get most of his players back in the second half, plus he had a single reserve. I beat up some more guys, but he managed to score. And then he scored the equalizer ON THE LAST TURN.

Two games drawn on the last turn. Damn.

There was no third game. And I most certainly didn’t lose it 3-1. Never.

m1251048_99060999098_BBVaragGhoulChewerMain_445x319In conclusion, it was a fun way to spend the day. The Blood Bowl game is definitely something I’ll be looking at getting myself, probably with some Norsemen or Orcs, or even Goblins for the hilarity of night goblin fanatics, explosives and pogo sticks. It’s also highly recommended and for anyone who is interested, you can download the Living Rulebook in the Specialist Games section of Games Workshop’s site.


** Also, FUCKING illegal procedures. If you forget to move the turn counter before doing anything else in your turn, you either lose your turn or have to forfeit a re-roll. I did it a couple of times. But so did my opponent. **



June 21, 2009

Sometimes, warhammer leads to some awesome discoveries. Hello Kitty space marines (which are everywhere nowadays), hippy necrons and pink fluffy land raider tanks. Other such examples are the following.

This is a Necron Monolith, a floating super-laser tank fortress thing:

necron monolithThis is Megatron, leader of the decepticons:

Megatron And this is fucking badass:


And people think Monoliths are hard to kill NOW. Just wait till you have to put up with the inevitable return of this guy as Super-Monolith Galvatron.

I would love to actually build a model for this (If I had any sculpting skill). Of course, making a transforming mini would be damn near impossible, but still. I mean, he’s got a gauss flux arc attached to his fucking knees! His knees!

Also, want to see Unicron made into a Necron World Engine.

However, that isn’t the only Transformers/Warhammer 40K crossover I found. An awesome site called is all about combining these two franchises.

One example is this converted space marine dreadnought made to look like, well, y’know.

AUTOM1006Additionally, the site has some Deceptitau, my favourites of which are these simple Megatron and Shockwave Crisis Suit conversions.


Hooray for crossovers!


After noticing that the Ork Trukk had a trailer connection, a guy named madscuzzy decided to use it to build Orktimus Prime:

IMG_1466That’s what happens when you get those crazy Orks to build a Transformer. Kinda looks like Optimus if he was from the Planet of Junk =D

BUT, this madscuzzy, like any converter, is insane. He was not content just to have such a beautiful Trukk. He had to take his evil genius to the next level.

So, in some Ork Big Mek’s workshop somewhere, madscuzzy did the impossible. He did this:

IMG_1478 IMG_1476 IMG_1483 IMG_1487


Orktimus Prime is my fucking hero. Madscuzzy too.

I’z Orktimus Prime an’ I darez ta be WAAAAAAAGGHH!!

-Vyperchild, who hopes to one day add ch-ch-ch-ch to his repertoire of 40K sound effects.

** Just for fun, a couple of fun non-TF related Warhammer pics.

In the grim darkness of the distant future, there is only Hello Kitty:

HelloKittyMarines3 1244817590071 Also:


Dreadnought. In the butt. I had to say it.

blood And of course, the old favourite. Bloodletters XD **


Khorne Daemons Plog in 3…2…1…

June 15, 2009


Today I made my first purchase towards my Khorne Daemon army. Naturally, I bought a box of bloodletters which contained these sprues:

IMG_1069IMG_1070 IMG_1071The kit contains parts to build 10 bloodletters. Compared to most ten/twelve man kits I think this one is excellent value, being $15 cheaper. Even before the price this is a recommended kit, after all, they’re all so very pretty.

For those of you that bothered to/can count, you may have noticed there are actually 11 heads and a few extra other parts. Which is great for versatility, although not to the extent of say, a space marine kit. Still, it should give enough combinations to not have obvious similarities between models when I have 40+ bloodletters.

I’m very much looking forward to building these minis. They look like fun. Blood-drenched fun. Painting however will be a bit of struggle, because I’ve never really painted a mini before. But still, I’m happy to learn with such pretty models 🙂

So, this all leads me to proclaim two things. Firstly, my Khornate daemons have finally begun!


Secondly, this blog is now officially home to my project log, so check back for occasional updates as I build my war host. Of course, I’ll continue with the usual nonsense of the blog as well.

I look forward to showing off this project in all it’s murderous glory over the next few months. If I had a bottle of wine I’d probably drink it totally do that thing where they spray the wine all over people to commemorate some event definitely drink it.




Grind your soul to make my bread

June 14, 2009

That is what is affectionately called a Soul Grinder. A combination of daemon and machine built in the Soul Forge of Chaos. I plan on having two of these in my 1500 point 40K Khornate daemons army, each with a different upgrade for those maw cannons.

Although all Soul Grinders are undedicated (that is, they don’t follow a particular Chaos God anymore), my Soul Grinders will be built to show a previous alignment to Khorne. One will be painted similarly to the one in the picture, and the other will have black skin with lava cracks, and the metal plating will be red with bronze/gold trim.

Additionally, with the expansion of my daemon force to Apocalypse size (with the inclusion of my following project, World Eaters Chaos marines), I hope to build upon my Soul Grinder group to allow for the special Soul Grinder Apocalypse formation.

But that’s all just a little dream for now. What matters is that Soul Grinders are fucking epic killing machines (half-literally).