Archive for the ‘News’ Category

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The fuck is up, imaginary audience?

January 2, 2010

It’s 2010 now, in case you didn’t know. It was 2009 a couple of days ago, and then all of a sudden BAM, it’s 2010.

Such a sudden and arbitrary change which, for me, only highlights that I have entered yet another year, no, another decade, and have still achieved so little.

I am now 19. Most people who are my age that I know are midway through apprenticeships, or they’ve got a full-time job, or they’ve completed a year of university or they’re going through TAFE or whatever. I on the other hand, dropped out of my course and so am back to where I was at the end of 2008, at least academically.

Personally, I’ve grown quite a bit during 2009. I went from someone who talked to less than five people on a regular basis and only talked to others if prompted, to someone who goes out drinking often and has a comparatively larger group of friends.  However I am still far behind most people. Most people had their first girlfriend or boyfriend in their early years of high school. Similarly with their first kiss. As I’ve said, I’m 19, and I have yet to do these things.

And everything’s my fault.

But whatever. 2010 is another start for me. I’m starting a Bachelor of Psychology at a different university, I’m always trying harder to prove that I can interact with others and I have recently started my first job.

So while the arrival of 2010 has brought realization of failures and faults, the prospects before me bring the hope of bettering myself and learning what I wish to learn, whether it be academic learning or otherwise. Alternatively, the prospects before me could be the harbingers of yet new failures and faults.

Ever the pessimist, I am.

As for this here blog, I will convince myself to renew posting. I slowed down a lot towards the end of 2009, and the whole of December only had two posts, one of which was nothing but a link to Unspeakable Evil. Speaking of UE, there’s exciting stuff happening there soon probably maybe hopefully, so check it out.

But yes, returning to this stupid blog, I will probably start posting more about warhammer as my daemons army finally gets off the ground. I’d also like to give a record of my learning to play guitar, as I am in the process of buying my first guitar now. Other than that, I dunno what I’ll post. Whatever I feel like at the time (which last year led to such posts as The Bridge at the End of the World and A Better Justice System? I THINK SO, both of which you can find links for in the archivey thing over there –> if you’re interested.).

In conclusion, Happy New Year(?)

-Vyperchild

** Just thought that this notes thing should be here as usual. It’s like some sort of reunion. **

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ABORT!!

August 10, 2009

Abortion pill now available in Australia.

Hooray!

Now to find some wimmenz to make a correctable mistake with.

-Vyperchild

** I realize that what I have just posted is likely to offend. To all those who are offended, I must sincerely say that you should go fuck yourselves. That is all. **

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FUCKING FUCK STEPHEN CONROY FUCK

June 28, 2009

Fuck. So. Fucking. Much. Fuck.

WELL!

That is to say, FUCK. Stupid fucking fuck.

Alright. The point. The fucking point. Fucking getting there.

SO! You know how I was saying about our no R-18+ games a little while ago? Well, I thought that some progress was being made what with all the commotion and opening the debate to the public.

WELL I WAS FUCKING WRONG.

We aren’t getting R-18+ games anytime soon. Okay. Disappointed but I could deal with it. After all, we can always import.

OH WAIT. NO WE FUCKING CAN’T.

The FUCKING government has decided that the internet is evil. They want to start blocking sites which host or sell R-rated games.

YES THAT’S RIGHT.

YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE ALLOWED TO IMPORT.

Banning internet sites? What are we? FUCKING CHINA?

Fuck you Communications Minister Stephen Conroy.

FUCK YOU.

-Fucking Vyperchild

** At the moment, this is still something Labor is trying to get through the senate. As such, I am going to turn the senate into a gauntlet of horrors so terrible that Stephen Conroy will break down as the Labor party is whittled down in increasingly horrible ways and he will authorise the creation of a game based on running this wonderful gauntlet. You can never win. You can only die in ways so gory and original that no director would be able to film a horror movie with such content because they would find themselves coughing up blood at the mere thought. It will be awesome. Also, FUCK **

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Don’t worry about Swine Flu, I have a plan!

June 19, 2009

I was playing some old Mega Drive/Genesis games when, suddenly, it came to me.

I KNOW HOW TO STOP SWINE FLU.

That’s right, I, Vyperchild, have discovered the answer you’ve all been searching for.

*applause*
*wolf whistles*
*thrown panties*

I am putting together an elite team with unparalleled knowledge and experience in dealing with such threats.

Allow me to introduce you to the leader of the team:

OoT - Ganon-550x 
Hailing from the nation of Hyrule, the steadfast and silent Link has had more past lives than you could poke a deku stick at, and in each of them has gained much knowledge about swine from his battles with Moblins and the evil pig-lord Ganon (pictured). With a sword with enough power to cut through an evil as potent as Swine Flu, he will make a fine team leader.

The second member is none other than Sparkster:

Rocket_Knight_Adventures_GEN_ScreenShot3.gif
Sparkster is an opossum. But don’t let his cute animal looks fool you! With his deadly shooting sword, his tough blue armour and a super jetpack, he’s one Rocket Knight who knows how to kick ass. His assistance to the team will mostly come in the form of dealing with the Swine Flu hordes and their monstrous pig-tanks and pig-robots.

The third team member is our driver:

DiddyKongRacing-620x

He may just be a tiny monkey with a hat, but Diddy Kong’s driving skills are top notch. In fact, it was his ability to unerringly drive cars and hovercraft and fly planes that led to his victory over the enormous Wizpig. We have every confidence in Diddy’s ability to get the team where they need to be to stop Swine Flu.

The final member of the team is:

tomba_screen001
TOMBI! After his bracelet was stolen by some greedy Koma Pigs, Tombi started fighting a personal war with swine everywhere. Regardless of whether he has to tackle the swine or throw their magic asses into enchanted handbags, he always gets the job done.

Although, it must be noted that our scientists are currently investigating Tombi due to the possibility of his ‘rape’ combat technique being the origin of Swine Flu. 

AND THAT’S THE TEAM!

*applause*

However, we also have a reserve member in case the Swine Flu situation escalates:

foxarwing
With his experience in space combat against Pigma Dengar, Fox McCloud’s services shall be employed should Swine Flu begin to reach beyond Earth. Additionally, his Landmaster Tank may be employed to assist Sparkster in dealing with the mechanized swine forces.

Another reserve was considered, however it has been agreed that although Duke Nukem’s experience in killing Pig Cops could be beneficial, his inability to turn up on time would hinder the team’s efficiency.

-Vyperchild

** I have just been informed that no member of the team actually exists. I am sorry to say that when Spanky Ham and Babe attack, we are all DOOMED **

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Well of course now you’re targets. Dickheads.

June 8, 2009

So. Indian students. Protesting.

They protested because they were being targeted by ‘racially motivated’ thugs. No. You were being targeted because you had a fucking wallet and a phone.

These thugs were opportunistic. They attacked anyone  they could steal shit from, regardless of race. It’s not like they passed up the white teenager with an ipod so that they could continue their search for appropriate Indian prey.

I said were for a reason.

Before, Indian students weren’t targeted. Now that you’ve made a fuss (and broken our monuments you fucking tossers) you’ve provoked racial attacks.

All you’ve done is created a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now you will be targeted by thugs, because they’re pissed off at you. I’m expecting death within a week.

And it wouldn’t have happened if you’d realised the race card wasn’t in fucking play.

-Vyperchild

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Moral guardians, fuck off

May 18, 2009

With the debate over an R18+ rating for video games in Australia seemingly approaching end (maybe), I thought it was time for me to throw my proverbial hat into the proverbial ring of not so proverbial wankery.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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SBS weather is hilarious

April 16, 2009

It’s sunny in Baghdad